Confessions of a new mommy

Landon is beginning to "normalize" a little bit. He's starting to go to sleep sometimes between 8:30 and 10:30 instead of midnight to 2 am. He is still not sleeping great through the night, but its very slowly getting better. we've pretty much been teething since beginning of June, so, I have hope. When these two top teeth push through, we might have a fighting chance. which takes me to my point-- I have have a lot of time to think. more than usual... which can be scary.

Being a mom is HARD. especially a new mom! I never, ever thought for a second it would be easy... but since I had Gavin since he was 2 weeks old, I thought I understood. ( To all you step-mommies who think you know it all-- take notes. this is real shit.) I used to watch Gavin while Ben was at school 3 nights every other week, then we would spend the entire weekend together. I had been there through infancy to toddler-hood, through the teething, crawling, walking, feeding, pooping etc. etc. you get what im saying. And as an Aunt of 11 kids.. I thought it would come easIER to me. and then, i got bitchslapped.

I love my son. I never thought it was even possible to love something like this. I thought I would love him like I love Ben. Or like I love shoes ( which is A LOT) I never in my life thought it would be this extreme, where sometimes I could ( and do) cry at a glance. Have you seen him!? he is so stinking cute. seriously... its rediculous.

With that being said, I have to admit. I have let being a mom completely take over my life. As it should! but I should still be a person. I'm not. I'm a diaper changer, milk maker, chasing arounder, non-shower-er, feeder, happy, mom. Being a mom has brought me closer to some (Especially my sisters!) and much further away from a lot of other things. my relationship defintely takes a backseat right now. and thats crazy! if I didn't have my soon-to-be hubby, I wouldn't have these kids at all! A majority of my friendships have taken a big hit... social life is ground zero. Which is fine... people who really mattered to me ( and I would want around my kids) are still around. I'm not saying any of this is bad-- I'm just saying. I never thought that EVERY SINGLE aspect of my life would change.  it's the most rewarding job on the planet, but I am "just" a mom. Super mom of course ;)

In OTHER NEWS... sweet boy is now 8 months old and sweeter than ever :) he's becoming so much more independant and LOVES to play with his big brother. He's always clapping and smiling... He's so happy! I know I've said it before.. But i couldnt of had a better baby for me. He is the best parts of me, maaaaaybe a little of Ben, and the best of his little baby self.

The binkie fairy paid a little visit to our house last night.. and took all of Gavins bedtime binkies and LJ's too ( he never took them.) we are VERY proud to say the habit has been kicked and lots of new babies are very happy with their new binkies ;) best part?! she brought Gavin LOTS of pennies and quarters and we're going to buy a pool today. Gotta love that binkie fairy... I bet she's super pretty too ;)

Time to wake up my crazies, and take them swimming with their cousins, Aunties, and Grandma. we love the summer time!! (ie... watch out for pool party post!!)

xoxo